Uncategorized – Finn and Flour Farms

We have the cutest chickens!

On Wednesday I picked up 3 chickens to start our little journey. We have two Jersey Giants and one mixed silkie. When I tell you how much fun they are I’m not lying.

They were named in the most ridiculous fashion as well, because…well, have you met met? My camp staff named one Bacon, Jon named one Pollo ( Spanish for chicken), and the silkie is Grandma Jo after an inside joke.

They have been pretty consistent in their egg laying and because the silkie eggs are so small, we either give them back to the chickens scrambled OR I give them to the dogs. It’s been a lot of fun so far.

I’m not going to lie though, I’ve been the most paranoid chicken mom ever. Every day I second guess whether the coop is large enough, if the run is large enough, if they have enough snacks, if they like their food, etc. Lord help me when I have kids. I think we are going to expand the run a bit more this weekend. They’ll enjoy it and I’ll feel better.

When it comes to snacks, these girls are sluts for meal worms. Absolutely no lie. I walk over with the bag and you’d think the ice cream truck was in town. We’re supposed to get 4-6 inches of snow tonight so I put a little tarp over their run so they can stay outside. I’m hoping the weather man ends up wrong so I can get them playing in the yard tomorrow. I’m hoping by extending their run and getting them out in the yard a bit each day that I will be a lot less paranoid. LOL.

All that said, I am excited and ready for the fun that is owning chickens. Here’s some photos!

It’s Chicken Week!

The weather up here has finally stabilized enough that we can assemble our chicken coop and bring some chickens home!

I NEVER thought I’d be that type of person who would want chickens. My mom always talked about having a small farm and at one point we had a duck, but I remember just rolling my eyes. And here we are…

I’m most excited because this is our next step in my dream to someday be a homesteader. Jon and I go through an 18 pack a week so it was a no brainer to raise our own. We are starting with adult chickens from a farm across the state and will incorporate chicks in the next season. We’ve had the coop for a while, but this winter was just too unpredictable to put it up. Until today! The final assembly happens tomorrow and I am picking up our new flock of 3 on Wednesday. We have a seabright bantam chicken and two jersey giants joining us.

I have a little more research to do on the specifics of their breed, but our home is ready for them. Now… if only I can calm Gemini’s bird hunting instincts and show them that we are a team. Now one of the things my husband has reminded me of is that I run a summer camp 24/7 from June until August. I am actually excited to bring the chickens in and start my day off with something that’s going to provide for my family regularly. I think it’ll bring some balance into my perspective, but we shall see. I may have a totally different thought on that come the end of the week. LOL.

I’m so thankful for this opportunity to make Finn and Flour Farms something that could do a lot for my family down the road. Little steps each day will help me create something that could provide a lot of sustenance and fun for our future. Pictures to come on Wednesday!

-B

Positive Changes

Describe one positive change you have made in your life.

During the course of my life, I’ve spent a significant amount of time shaping myself to be something accepted by others. It’s taken a good chunk of my 33 years, but I’m finally in a spot in my life where I can let go of things that don’t serve me.

Let me be a bit more clear about that for a moment. I spent YEARS worrying too much about what others thought of every decision I made. I still struggle with it, but I am at a point where spending time trying to be what others want me to be is exhausting and I have no time for that any longer. I’m not perfect and I get caught up in it time and time again, but I can acknowledge when it happens and I can change course. By sitting in one spot doing everything I can to be what others want, I don’t end up growing and discovering who I truly am.

One positive change I’ve made has been to make my living a bit more sustainable. That includes using “green” products, swapping out common conveniences for things that last longer, and putting in the work to make a few more homemade things rather than just driving to the store. We’ve been able to make our own spices, bread products, small business, and I am looking at working with herbs that we are growing this spring for things like salves. Once the snow finishes melting, we’ll be able to finally build the chicken coop and move some hens in to provide our own source of eggs. I have a dream of having something similar to a “little free library” but with eggs and vegetables we grow that we don’t need.

As I keep growing and learning in this space, I’ll share what I learn and how I’ve continued to move things forward for my family. It’ll take little steps each day, but I’m excited to keep discovering along the way.

Sourdough Life cycle

Have you ever had a really good slice of sourdough bread? Crunchy on the outside, fluffy on the inside, and overall just a complete piece of bread?

Well, making sourdough isn’t as crazy tough as some make it seem. Yeah, there’s some practice to it and you have to pay attention for about 2 minutes a day, but it’s worth it.

Each evening, I take a little bit of my current sourdough “starter” and add some new flour and new water to it. Do that for 5 days and you’re ready fore a loaf of bread. There are more details that come to play and I’ll definitely share as we go along, but I’m just excited you’re here.

I took some time to dehydrate the starter I have when it’s at peak maturity and then I divide it into 10 gram satchels for people to purchase if interested. I love being able to share this with the world and once you get a starter going, it just keeps growing until you tell it to stop.

Well it’s been a minute…

I stumbled across this page yesterday and realized that I haven’t post3d at all since we moved in 2021.

Whoops…

A lot has changed. To be honest, not much has stayed the same and I am hoping to dig into that as we move forward with a rebrand. Over the last few months, the husband and I have decided to dive into the world of homesteading and see what we can do with what we have here. I started dehydrating and selling sourdough starter, we make our own butter and spices, and as soon as this snow melts, we will have a small flock of chickens. It’s not much, but it’s so nice to be a bit more self sustainable.

There’s a lot more to dive into here, but I’m hoping that as we go along we can build something beautiful here. A little determination put in each day can show results as it compounds. So far we have the pavers in for this project, it’s just time to build the walkway. Hang around for a bit and watch what we are up to in the north woods. I can’t promise anything amazing, but I’m sure there will be some funny chicken content along the way.

All Eyes On Me

Anxiety can be a scary thing.
The more I think about it the more I fear that it will come back.

Who am I kidding? It’s never fully gone.

I was watching some clips from Bo Burnham’s “Inside” special on Netflix. There’s one song he sings that stopped me in my tracks and I’ve been playing it on repeat incessantly.

There’s a segment where he actually talks about how he quit comedy about 5 years ago because of his panic attacks and he took that time to get himself better. It’s one of those things most people don’t talk about because of the “stigma” that is mental health. This next part may make no sense to any of you, but that’s really what this blog is about, am I right? Everytime I hear this section of the song, I think of it as almost a conversation between my rational self and my anxiety and there is something so extremely freeing. So indulge me as I try to type this while simultaneously eating tangy fruit smiles from Walmart.

Me: It’s almost over
Anxiety: It’s just begun
Me: Don’t overthink this, look in my eye, don’t be scared, don’t be shy, come on in the water’s fine. You say the ocean’s rising like I give a shit. You say the world is ending, honey it already did.
Anxiety: You’re not going to slow it. Heaven knows you’ve tried.
Me: Got it. Good, now get inside.

If you’ve heard the song, then you know there’s a particular chord that hits the minute he says the word inside. I tried describing this to a few people yesterday by saying my insides felt like they dropped when I heard it. There’s something so powerful about it. It’s like the rational me says “Get inside” with so much force that I regain control of what’s not real.

I am at the point in my life where my anxiety is around, but it’s not ruling my everyday. I am very thankful for that because it was not the case a few years ago. Is it gone? No. But the first time I heard that song was like the first time I felt like someone gave me permission to take back control. I know it sounds dumb, but it was so empowering…so freeing.

That’s really all there is. I just needed to put some words to what I was trying to iron out in my head and Mr. Burnham certainly did most of the work.

If any of this resonates with you, I hope you know that you are loved, you are appreciated, and you are most certainly enough.

Put Your Own Mask on First

I don’t fly much.
I love learning about airplanes.
But I don’t actually enjoy being on an airplane.
White knuckles on every flight. That’s me.

But on every flight I have ever been on, you hear the same spiel from each flight attendant. You know the one… stay in your seat when the seatbelt sign is on, your seat bottom is your flotation device, etc.

The one I want to focus on today is when they talk about a loss of pressure in the cabin causing a release of the oxygen masks. This is followed by the well known sentence, “Make sure to put your mask on first.”

For some people, this may be jarring. Questions surface. Why can’t I help my kids put on their masks first. Why can’t I help the elderly couple in front of me first? BECAUSE. You cannot be effective in helping others if you don’t take care of yourself first.

Do you see where I am going with this?
Taking care of yourself seems selfish 90% of the time, but it is paramount to not only being a productive human being, but you can only truly help other people if you have focused on your health and wellness. IT IS SO IMPORTANT. If you’re burning oil with no sleep and whatever food you have laying around the house, you may be able to feed the kids and walk the dogs, but it won’t be enjoyable. It won’t be a circumstance where your loved ones feel like they’re spending true time with you, rather it’ll be a case of checking off the boxes.

I am 100% guilty of this.
I spend so much time worrying about taking care of the needs of others. I would light myself on fire if it meant someone else could stay warm. Do you see the problem here? A constant focus on everyone else around you without taking care of yourself will lead to self destruction.

You can change the pattern. It doesn’t have to look like bath bombs and facemasks (the non fabric, over the ears kind. It can simply look like taking 20 minutes to sit outside and just breathe. It could be going for a drive by yourself to clear your head. It could be going to get a hair cut or some other activity that energizes you.

You can’t pour from an empty cup.
I get it, I do.
I am a work in progress on this one too.

Taking the Leash Off

I have started walking the dogs about 3 miles a day since this quarantine started. It was mostly from my sanity, but I don’t mind how lazy they get after the fact. It’s nice when they mind their own business sometimes. Ha.

I was walking the little dog today and she’s a puller. She’s maybe 15 lbs soaking wet so it’s never really an issue, but it got me thinking about being on a leash. When we take Finn (the big dog) to the dog park, he pulls and pulls and pulls on the leash. The minute we get inside the park, I take the leash of. There he sits. Pondering what to do next. But he goes from this wild hound, to a hound that’s instantly happy in seconds.

I’m wondering if humans are the same way.

What do you want to be when you grow up?
What do you want to look like?
Are you going to stay in the same religion as your parents?
Who are you going to vote for?

These are all examples of a leash.
Something that not only holds us back, but causes us to pull and get all worked up.
It creates pain. It creates unnecessary roadblocks in life.

What if we take the leash off?
Be who you want to be. Change careers every few years. Try something new.
Vote for who your beliefs are aligned with. Or don’t.
Worry more about your relationship with Jesus and less about the building you sing in.

Does it feel better? Does the weight come off?
Or are you instantly worried about what other people are thinking?
It’s another leash.

Here’s the thing. I don’t think we will ever fully be able to remove the leashes that our world and our society has on us. It’s just the way it is. BUT! There is a way to move forward in your life AND be happy. Cut off the leashes that don’t matter. Cut off the ones placed on you by other people’s opinions and expectations of how you “should” be. Those are the leashes pulling the hardest to begin with.

And don’t worry, I still have plenty of leashes on me as well. It’s a process. It’s not instantaneous. But it can be a beautiful journey if you let it.

Hey look Ma, I made it!

Is there something in your life that you’d consider the summit?

The top?

The pinnacle of everything you’ve ever worked for?

It’s ok if you do.
But I am starting to think that we put ourselves in a tough position if we never end up at that spot. What happens if for some unseen circumstances, you don’t hit that one point in life that you consider the finish line? Does that mean your life was a waste? Did you give up all that time for nothing?

I know, I know. I’m kinda jumping off the deep end here, but I think about my friend Julianne. She sets big goals. I mean BIG goals. But the thing that sets her apart is the fact that her goals are never “the end” in her mind. Her goals are a stepping stone in her life. When she doesn’t hit a goal, I’ve watched her rejoice in the lesson she learned in that failure and use it to fuel her forward into another try. She’s an insanely incredible woman and I don’t thank her enough for the path she’s paved for so many people.

What if we started celebrating every little accomplishment. Ma would be proud of those little ones, right?

RIGHT!

You got up this morning? YES!
You went for a walk today? YES!
You completed a big task for work? YES!
You drank lots of water? YES!
You thanked the dear Lord for all He’s given you? YES!

Considering the crazy messed up times we’re residing in, breathing can be considered a win some days. Grant yourself some grace.

Set the big goals.
Chase them hard.
But if you don’t hit them in your time frame, celebrate the little victories along the way and let your failure push you forward.

The Blame Game

I have a huge amount of respect for Tony Robbins. When I get the chance to work up the money, I will attend one of his events. It’ll happen.

For now, I watch his documentary I Am Not Your Guru on Netflix and try to live vicariously through that.

In the beginning, it shows him working with a girl that has daddy issues. He flat out tells her that if she’s going to blame him for all of the bad in her life, then she also has to blame him for all the good in her life too.

It’s like I just got smacked upside the head through my tv. Ha.

I blame myself for so much shit.
I blame all of my problems on me.
I blame my inability to lose weight on me.
I blame my trust issues on my lack of self-respect.
I blame 90% of what I do today on my past.

But guess what?
I also have to blame myself for everything else.

I blame myself for having a great career.
I blame myself for having my bachelor’s degree.
I blame myself for being in a great relationship.
I blame myself for being happy.
I blame myself for being happy.
I blame myself for being happy.

And that’s how the blame game really needs to go.
I can change and work on all the negatives, but I HAVE to give credit where credit is due on all of the good stuff too.