Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.

Frederick Buechner

I’ve been infatuated with a new book recently and it’s completely changed the way I view myself. Untamed by Glennon Doyle is an incredible book about unclipping the leash that appears on us when we are born.

When we are in elementary school, we’re commonly asked what we want to be when we grow up. Sometimes we’ve even been asked to do a presentation or poster on that particular job. In middle school, I vividly remember taking an aptitude test and coming out thinking I needed to be a lawyer. I know that these things are designed to get us to think about what we’d like to do as an adult, but as a child, it breeds the thought that we need to pick something to associate ourselves with permanently.

I have degrees in Theology and Lay Ministry. Am I using them? In a sense, yes. I am actively working in that field? No. There are days when I sit back and and ask myself why I spent $94,000 on degrees I am not using. My answer? Because it was what I wanted at the time and it’s ok that what I wanted has since changed.

Woah.
Did I just give myself permission to change what I want?
Yes.

Here’s the deal. We get so wrapped up in the “pick one” mindset when it comes to who we want to be and what we want to do. I’ve had countless jobs and it wasn’t until I left the BSA the first time that I realized how much I absolutely loved it. Did I ever think I’d work for the Boy Scouts of America? No way. Let’s be real, I never really knew that you could work for the Boy Scouts and now I can’t imagine it any other way.

Ladies, there is no one-size-fits-all with your life. Just because our world has put you in a box and on a leash since you were born doesn’t mean YOU HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT. You aren’t meant to be like anyone else. You aren’t meant to conform. You were made with so much potential, so much greatness, that I know you’re scared to tap into. The world is big, it’s messy, it’s scary, but it was created for YOU and even with all the yuckiness it’s still somehow so incredible. You have the chance to take it head on and make of it as you wish.

Go change the world.
And if you are afraid, that’s ok.
Do it anyway.

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Hitting my 30th birthday was a bit unexpected this year. Well, I mean, I expected to turn 30, but all of the circumstances around it were incredibly odd.

Quarantine. Nuff said.

I am not sure why, but the number 30 has brought about more self-reflection than the 29 years before it. I’ve been attaching myself to things I really feel connected to and there’s this sense of urgency to really push towards my dreams.

In early March, I helped a friend move down to Florida and we spent a day at the Magic Kingdom. I’ve been to Epcot before, but no other Disney park and to say this was life changing is an understatement of the century. It was like my entire childhood was coming full circle. I am inspired by Walt’s life and the incredible legacy he left behind. It’s always been my passion to change the world and Walt was one of the people who actually did. His brain just focused on all the fine details and found ways to incorporate more magic into each moment. I cannot tell you how many different ways I’ve found to intertwine his legacy into what I do for work.

It was so eye opening. I came home and was so excited to put it into practice. There are bits and pieces I’ve matched up here and there and watching it spark more joy is fulfilling. But at the end of the day, I notice myself feeling uneasy about the future. COVID and all things considered, I am sure I am not the only one. I spent today digging deeper. I knew that some of my uneasiness had nothing to do with the coronavirus, but I didn’t have a good reason to continue pretending it wasn’t there. I finally caved today and listened to Rachel Hollis describe how she sets up her Start Today journal. It seems pretty simple. Date at the top, 5 things you’re grateful for, 10 dreams, and 1 goal you can work on now. The goals are essentially leading indicators to your dreams. Focusing on one item to move the needle forward will get you closer to actually achieving one of those dreams.

To be honest, I actually had to sit down and really discover what my dreams are. We’re supposed to write them as if they’d already happened. Some of them were simple, I want to be a wife, a mother, a Boy Scout CEO (Scout Executive), and I want to lose 50 lbs. Those have been on my list forever. But I wrote down 2 things that completely surprised me. They came out of nowhere and it was like I wrote something on the paper I wasn’t cognizant of. I wrote down (like it already happened) that I am a published author and a personal development speaker.

What?

Yeah…
I didn’t realize until after it was on the paper that these two things are on my list for a reason. I couldn’t stop thinking about them all day. The more I did, the more excited I got. But where does one even start when becoming a “published author?” As I say that sentence out loud, I want you to know that I actually articulated serious sarcasm when saying published author. Almost like I don’t fully believe I can make it happen. It excites me, but there’s a big lack of confidence behind it. That’s where this blog comes in. It may turn out to be just a place where I drop what’s going on in my head or it may turn out to be something more, but this is my 1 goal in today’s entry that will push the needle on my dreams.

So here we are.
Starting something new.
Jumping into a world I am not sure I am ready for.

But if Elsa can convince herself 45 seconds into a song, I can find a way to do it too.

Don’t you know that there’s a part of me that longs to go… into the unknown!

Elsa, Frozen II, The Walt Disney Company

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